Lyon Brave

4 years ago · 2 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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Realistically,  it’s not possible to always be happy and always think positively, nor is that an honest way to interpret information. With that being said, when we are angry and crying, that is what privacy is for. Even when we strongly disagree with something we need to disagree with it in a calm manner. Anger will only lead to an explosion because you can’t fight gasoline with fire. 

Contrary to popular belief, other people matter just as much as you. As mentioned in my mindful memo, it is not our right to create drama and holler just because we are upset. In fact, this is the behavior of a child. As adults, we need to conduct ourselves with a certain amount of restraint at all times. This restraint not only means controlling our actions but our words.17e26f45.jpg

We teach our children to be congenial and polite for a reason, which is to maintain harmony. It’s a social responsibility to be happy and harmonious when we enter the public space. It’s a social responsibility to cultivate and encourage positive thinking in others and ourselves.

Controlling our tempers is a social responsibility. As individuals we should control our wrath as best we can. If we let an enemy provoke us, it will cause more injury to us and others. The feeling of revenge is powerful and motivating, but it is wise to let these feelings die, so we can keep our life’s intact and not be consumed by hatred in one quick moment. If we allow someone to provoke us at a bar, the next thing we know our life is ruined, for one brief moment of anger. Keeping calm is always the best option because it guarantees us the most long-term freedom.


The human race is only as strong as our weakest point. Humans forget they are a hive group or a herd. Humans are part of a pack. 

Humans are individuals second and members of greater civilization first. If humans are to be perfectly honest, we hate being alone. It’s unnatural for us and I say this as a huge introvert and someone who has spent most of my time alone. I love my alone time, but too much seclusion creates a misunderstanding of almost all information interpreted because when we are analyzing it alone we have no checks and balance system. We have nothing to indicate we have lost our minds and our completely delusional or wrong in our thinking.

The more we isolate ourselves and claim to have introverted preferences as a reason to do so, the more we become disconnected from humanity and reality. The more disconnected from humanity we become, the more we distrust people and the world around us. The more we isolate, the less we know how to engage and be human. Too much alone time leads to depression because it’s antisocial and antisocial behavior can lead to hate for the fellow man.4012589c.jpg

This is of course, a two-sided coin, as spending too much time with other people can create its own problems and delusions. To walk the middle path, there has to be a balance in all things. We need to talk to people. They help us understand ourselves and the situations we are in. How we talk to ourselves is crucial in our development and how we talk to other people is crucial to our development and theirs. Words matter. What we say has an impact. What we say has ramifications. We can shape others mental landscapes by how we speak to them, which is a great power to be aware of. If we are charismatic and influential in our speech we can shape countless people’s behavior just by having a conversation with them.

In the same vain if we are rude and judgmental, we could cause someone to become anxious, stressed and to ill-behaved. People are in control of themselves, but how we treat them affects them, and we need to take responsibility for this chain reaction that occurs within human interaction. A terrorist is made, not born.


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Great article

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #12

#14 Risk management is a multi dimensional field. The field that i am referring too, that has taught me well, is the ability to understand the risk in moving forward with deals, people or situations. In essence leadership. I am still an understudy and work hard each day to learn more. Our actions, words and body language demonstrate to others our intentions. Roger Dawson (The Link above.) opens with everything is controlled or owned by someone else. If you want something, then it is best to understand the person who has what you want. For me this is the risk management aspect of social interaction. If you don't want anything then just be you. If you want something then one should measure the cost of win-win on both sides and present accordingly.

Cyndi wilkins

4 years ago #11

"Truth is whatever we don't face up within ourselves and the flaws are deeper within us when we have not learned to handle our own selves, for if we can't be at one with our own selves how the heck do we expect to do that for others?" Thank you CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit...nailed it;-)

Nice 👍

Lyon Brave

4 years ago #9

@Harvey Lloyd i would like to learn more about you small business. I would like to learn more about risk management.

Lyon Brave

4 years ago #8

Tricia Mitchell I agree with many of your statements. I am following you now!

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #7

Again, you nailed the concept. I was attempting to articulate the risk/reward in any engagement should be realized upfront as to consequences, positive/negative. Having been in construction most of my adult life the rank and file of that demographic is very big on, Your mouth shouldn't cash checks your but is unwilling to cash. This is the sanitary version. I have seen many a payday and participated in a few. Social media or in person we should be willing to carry our statements to conclusion. Agree to disagree is a compassionate way of coming to a conclusion. Unfortunately when we step out with emotions and charge a situation i don't know who is in the room or reading my emotional outbreaks. My main point is cautionary. Thanks for your discussion and very excellent points. I do err on the side of conservative caution. But i do live without fear in social settings and online. I guess i have seen in-person and online that folks reach beyond their ability to cash the check their mouth has extended them into. I enjoy their freedom of speech but realize that once you start the tongue and its cutting edge, not everyone will view it with compassion. Risk management has been a huge part of my small business understanding. If you are unwilling to loose, and i do mean "you" not what someone else did successfully, then don't play. For each of us this risk tolerance is different. No your limits and act within your own. In America you are guaranteed freedom of speech, almost to a fault, you are not guaranteed that everyone will observe that law as you do.

CityVP Manjit

4 years ago #6

Harvey good points. In the offline world it used to be that we consider not falling into the shoot first ask questions later bucket, but in the online world the enter button is mightier than the sword - and unlike a person-to-person situation where we are face to face and shoot our mouth off - in the online world - we have to press the SEND key before we shoot our own-selves in the foot. I was not really thinking about the online world but considering that I am here using it - I think I should :-) There are valuable seconds in the online world - the question then is - if the person in the online world cannot mitigate the extra seconds one has in action of hitting the send key, what would they be like when there is no other extra process i.e. nose to nose. This then is the very kind of person who I don't want in my life - because first they cannot control themselves and secondly it is the easiest thing in the world to turn the SEND key into a weapon. Most people are really good, so we are spoiled for choice regarding the actual number of good people there really are - but the back-stabbing or toxic individual. Here it is not maturity that touches the SEND key but a deeper intelligence - actual humanity and even the most spoiled kid out there has moments of serene humanity, because hitting the SEND key is an act of touching and it is easier for people who are devoid of feelings (whether narcissistic or psychopathic) who will not feel what they are sending. The sociopath is not who I want in my life. So perhaps that kind of individual in revealing themselves through the inability to sense their own fingers, means we can get on with our lives by recognizing the DELETE key is also on our individual keyboards. The caveat here is that we are talking about the minority. The actual KEY word then is "proportionality" - and here it is not anger, but our compassion.

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #5

I want desperately to agree with many of your statements. The world would certainly be a better place under the comments you have made. Media, along with violent acts at the street level and international level have left compassion at the very narrowest of places. Social trust has been broken. We do need to rebuild that trust where boundaries can once again be fortified and trusted. The boundaries where each human understands that anger or other emotions will not include aggressive acts. I believe that we are all at a place of trust and verify. I could get angry and someone would show compassion and help me not suffer the consequences of untended actions. Today my anger is my own and i am unwilling to display it in a setting where others would become anxious. Because the narrative in our society is one where violence is a method of debate. I am unwilling to participate in this Russian roulette scenario. However i see many folks who are willing to play and do. My hope is i become the outlying demographic and the world moves in the direction you speak too. Until then, use caution as you expose your emotions, there are consequences, and someone may be available to show the extreme of those consequences. Chose wisely.

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #4

I find that most emotions are generated from a narrative, all except the ones that are true fight or flight (House on fire.). I find anger and many other emotions to be generated from a narrative that paints a world according to you. Should we gather ten people in a room and they offer up their ten very different perspectives can we each really be angry at the other, is there room for folks to have a different opinion/perspective? I would state that any emotion that you are willing to unfold in a public forum, you should be prepared for the consequences. One does not get the chance, within the group of ten, to exercise, say anger, and not expect someone else to join with their own. Typically i refrain from joining and walk away. Not from fear but rather from the perspective, if i join with my own anger, i will escalate the situation and i am not willing to see it through to conclusion. I do not wish to go through the consequences. Again, let me state this excludes the fight or flight circumstances. #4 gets to the heart of the matter when he discusses the choosing of battles. Myself, its all a matter of risk within the setting where someone has exposed a less than normal level of emotion. They have now laid out a level of engagement. I have to choose. Mostly, i let them know, you win i lost. Can we move on. Merely as a deescalation process. Because, for me to win, i am willing to accept the consequences of my win in whatever shape it takes. The discouraging piece is many people are unwilling to measure the consequences of their actions prior to emotional engagement. Never pull out your emotions unless you are willing to play all twelve rounds that you start. Their are nine other folks with equal are better positions to challenge yours.

CityVP Manjit

4 years ago #3

Biggest lesson I have so far not learned is the one about picking our battles. There are times when it is imperative to hold our shit together and let the sense of justice find a stream of equanimity within us. There are times when we learn to suck it up and let it go and that is a maturity. Introverts and extroverts have a different way of regarding social and alone time - so we got to be who we are and we know when we are not, our entire energy and psyche conspires against us - even to the point of picking battles where the representation of what we are battling in our own minds is our inner demons rather than justice. Anger is a useful emotion. Justice is knowing when someone has crossed the line and equally making sure the line is not crossed, in that regard anger is useful emotion but not everything that is imagined wrong is actually a righteous fight for justice. What works for Cyndi wilkins might not work for me but if Cyndi is sensitive to anger, then I am disrespecting her to be angry around her and that is because I have read her viewpoint about anger - we don't have a relationship with strangers, we have a relationship with people we get to know. There is this thing my mom does that I think is brilliant, she clears debts and anger credits by the end of the day as much as being human is concerned, and just like debts are settled, she goes to sleep settled because she is not afraid to clear what is on her chest and be assertive. Truth often is not as clear cut as it seems but the clearest form of truth is whatever we don't face up within ourselves and the flaws are deeper within us when we have not learned to handle our own selves, for if we can't be at one with our own selves how the heck do we expect to do that for others?

Lyon Brave

4 years ago #2

It's a natural instinct to protect yourself. Honestly, some people need to be told off. It's important to pick your battles is all i am saying. Thanks for the link.

I so try to walk the middle ground and not lose my temper, but when someone is in attack mode, it is hard to do so. I seldom lose my temper, but I did yesterday with a neighbor and it felt gawdamned good. It seems my neighbors are organizing to do a lawsuit over But I may have the last laugh after all. I've had to file bankruptcy and my neighbors are listed on it. To hold one's temper while they are under attack is difficult.

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