Lyon Brave

1 year ago · 2 min. reading time · visibility ~100 ·

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Following In Donald Trump's Hair (A Memoir to China)

In this article, I am going to teach you to blame everything on China. It's easy. You need ugly hair. It exempts you from taking responsibility for your actions. Donald Trump's hair is life changing hair. It's the hair of the president and if you get this bold and stylish haircut you can become president too. 
A lot of people want to know the secrets to success. I figured there was no better person to learn from than our beloved president of the United States of the Great America, Donald Trump. If you take his advice you can have Mexicans build walls for you.
Lyon Amor Brave author of Following in Donald Trump's Hair


See the real reason most people are not rich is they are not brave enough to wear this bold hairstyle that Trump wears, but I am because I am Lyon Brave. 

After careful analysis of his character and spiritual journey from the top to even more boss baby, I discovered what made Donald Trump so Snoop-Doggy-Dog was his courage to wear his ugly hair even though with all that money he could of done something a little better with his hair. 

Instead of embracing beauty standards, he embraced the balding orange look to go for a more natural and humble image and that made the public perceive him as likable and human.  

Every since I have had orange hair with weird angles, my life has been incredible. I even have the confidence to grab women by the pussy and tell Mexicans to get out out of Taco Bell because they don't belong in an American restaurant. Mexicans even offer to mow my lawn for free just because they want to be seen on my property. They know a person with orange hair stands for something, even if it's just lining my own pocket with billions of dollars. Soon I hope I have enough confidence to go to KKK rallies and flash the white power symbol during international media coverage at the white house.


Disclaimer: I hope readers and viewers are smart enough to see that this is satire, this is comedy. This article does not represent my political beliefs, feelings on women, immigrants, Donald Trump or people of color. 

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Comments

Lyon Brave

1 year ago #3

#2
It helps to think of him as a comedian. I think he is an awful president, but hilarious to watch.

Jerry Fletcher

1 year ago #2

Lyon, thank you for that. I'm still laughing but it hurts. Agent Orange is about to take up hours of prime time this week fort he GOP Convention. He is scheduled to speak 4 times in 4 nights! The networks are debating whether or not to report on fact checking during his speeches. I think thay should just put up a disclaimer that all comments re not the opinion of the majority of Americans. And so it goes.

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #1

Lyon Brave You are a “Brave Lyon” Satire can be fun & funny. You achieved that ;~) What a creative mind you have. We know that it is not the HAIR ... that MATTERS Rather the BRAINS beneath the hair ... the heart inside the man Vision ~ Leadership ~ Competency ~ Ability ~ Accomplishments ~ No man is perfect. All men have said STUPID things ... done things they later REGRET If one lived knowing they would one day be President ... I'm sure ALL our former Presidents would have said & done things in a more EXEMPLARY way. History will reveal what kind of President that Donald J Trump is. I am astonished that he could accomplish anything given the SNAKES in “The SWAMP" The political SWAMP is filled with blinded, bickering, self-seeking … slithering snakes In their nests they multiple campaigners: beguiling, back-slapping, back-biting FAKERS They are self-serving takers … these masters of murmurs are malicious MUCKRAKERS Tweeting with vengeance their VILE-FULL vignettes Swamp snakes have NO conscious & can’t speak regrets They love spewing venom and HISSING their threats Should snakes-in-the-grass have a pass to HARASS? To create division & confusion in their muddled MORASS

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