Lyon Brave

4 years ago · 2 min. reading time · visibility ~10 ·

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Why Nice Guys Finish Last: They Buy Their Bullies Lunch

Why Nice Guys Finish Last: They Buy Their Bullies Lunch

Nice guys finish last for a reason, they neglect their own needs, don't stand up for themselves, and let their enemies take advantage of them. There is another word for 'Nice Guys' - spineless.

People pleasing is probably the number one reason for depression because a people pleaser is not meeting their own needs and is too busy sucking up to douche-bags to be happy. It's time to stop worrying about if people like you and worry about if you like you.

The main reason nice guys don't get ahead is they don't have their own identity. A nice person is someone who is always apologetic and willing to conform to the wants and needs of others, but they never really assert their own desires on their peers or express their own opinions.  




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c21acb71.jpgThis means a nice guy is easy to forget, easy to take advantage of, easy to push to the side and honestly dispensable because the world doesn't need suck ups. We need honest assertive people, which ironically the nice guy is the biggest passive liar on earth. They will smile at people they hate to avoid confrontation. 

 "Being nice does not get you respect. It does not get you noticed. It does not get you that promotion. And it does not get you the girl. If you are always trying to be nice, you probably will not always be honest. If honesty will hurt someone’s feelings or offend them, a nice guy will avoid it completely. "

James Michael

The popular saying, "what would Jesus do," might have helped create the nice guy epidemic." Jesus was a nice guy and looked what happened to him. He gave and he gave and he gave, just to be murdered and thrown in a cave. Do you really want a life like that?


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If you are too idealistic about how you treat people, you will suffer in this life. People are not delicate little sun flowers. People are resilient, hard to kill cock roaches. Instead of thinking like Jesus to get ahead in life maybe it's time to start thinking like an animal.

Animals are fierce They are not afraid to strike first and take what they need to survive. Even kittens won't hesitate to attack when someone does something they don't like. However, in the human world we can be overly submissive and apologetic to our attackers. Have you ever apologized after someone insulted you?

Example: JENNY: "Stacy, you look like you walked right into a wall and I'm so mad you left me at the bar last night. I needed to borrow money for a taxi. Some friend you are. Selfish bitch is more like it."

STACY: "I am sorry Jenny. I just got a little drunk and had to get home. It won't happen again. Can I buy you lunch to make it up to you."

This is what happens when you are  a People Pleaser, you buy your bullies lunch.

In the above scenario a self empowered version of Stacy might have responded like this, "Jenny, i had a good time at the bar last night. It's not my responsibility to pay for your taxi and we will not befriends at the end of the day if you don't apologize for what you just said." A self empowered version of Stacy might just laugh and walk away, but she certainly wouldn't be saying sorry to someone who was insulting her, using her and crossing boundaries.  Notice, Stacy stood up for herself without using profanity or being nasty. She simply used assertive and direct speech. 



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Comments

Lyon Brave

3 years ago #6

#7
Bernard Poulin Thank You so much!

Devesh 🐝 Bhatt

4 years ago #5

Nice guys finish stuff, bring closure. Everyone else is busy with bullshit.

Jerry Fletcher

4 years ago #4

Lyon, I have to go with Harvey on this one. I prefer to think of nice guys as those that "walk softly and carry a big stick." Or, as John Wayne said, "I'm a peacable man but "...just before he teed off on a bad guy. The nice guy or gal you describe isn't nice. They are completely submissive. That ain't nice. It's stupid. In my view the complete opposite is not the solution. Somewhere in the middle is where people need to be.

Pascal Derrien

4 years ago #3

what goes around comes around....always bully included :-)

Ken Boddie

4 years ago #2

Onya, Lyon Brave!!! 👍 Glad to see you're still kicking ass.

Harvey Lloyd

4 years ago #1

Perspective is always the arbiter of what we see and how we decode our environment. Nice guys always finish first. Bullies will always fail. This is the opposite side of the perspective you presented. Let's re-frame the perspective. Jesus was a nice guy and He ended his physical existence based on "man's" judgement. But His goal was not to satisfy man, nor leave a wealth legacy nor to meet any of Man's standards. His was to offer a new covenant, build His Church. A nice Guy and he finished first. In spite of His detractors He accomplished His goal. The Bible is the most printed book, His church represents a major portion of the world population. Mind you i do not speak to what you believe, but rather Jesus as the CEO of Church, Inc. Looks like Jesus won to me. Rome is dead, as he faced judgement from. The nice guy definition you are giving is not the true definition. You describe more a person who is a martyr, a person who lives in fear, lacks purpose and beliefs that can produce courage and perseverance within their own goal set. I have met some really nice people who are bullies and some really nice people who are very goal focused at the exclusion of others. Mostly i enjoy nice people who are focused, no what they want and realize they work in an interdependent world. Everyone wants something and by joining a team we can get everyone what they want while serving our own goal. You are an economy of one with the choice of the glass half empty or full. Its all a matter of perspective.

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