Why Nice Guys Finish Last: They Buy Their Bullies Lunch
Nice guys finish last for a reason, they neglect their own needs, don't stand up for themselves, and let their enemies take advantage of them. There is another word for 'Nice Guys' - spineless.
People pleasing is probably the number one reason for depression because a people pleaser is not meeting their own needs and is too busy sucking up to douche-bags to be happy. It's time to stop worrying about if people like you and worry about if you like you.
The main reason nice guys don't get ahead is they don't have their own identity. A nice person is someone who is always apologetic and willing to conform to the wants and needs of others, but they never really assert their own desires on their peers or express their own opinions.
This means a nice guy is easy to forget, easy to take advantage of, easy to push to the side and honestly dispensable because the world doesn't need suck ups. We need honest assertive people, which ironically the nice guy is the biggest passive liar on earth. They will smile at people they hate to avoid confrontation.
"Being nice does not get you respect. It does not get you noticed. It does not get you that promotion. And it does not get you the girl. If you are always trying to be nice, you probably will not always be honest. If honesty will hurt someone’s feelings or offend them, a nice guy will avoid it completely. "James Michael
The popular saying, "what would Jesus do," might have helped create the nice guy epidemic." Jesus was a nice guy and looked what happened to him. He gave and he gave and he gave, just to be murdered and thrown in a cave. Do you really want a life like that?
If you are too idealistic about how you treat people, you will suffer in this life. People are not delicate little sun flowers. People are resilient, hard to kill cock roaches. Instead of thinking like Jesus to get ahead in life maybe it's time to start thinking like an animal.
Animals are fierce They are not afraid to strike first and take what they need to survive. Even kittens won't hesitate to attack when someone does something they don't like. However, in the human world we can be overly submissive and apologetic to our attackers. Have you ever apologized after someone insulted you?
Example: JENNY: "Stacy, you look like you walked right into a wall and I'm so mad you left me at the bar last night. I needed to borrow money for a taxi. Some friend you are. Selfish bitch is more like it."
STACY: "I am sorry Jenny. I just got a little drunk and had to get home. It won't happen again. Can I buy you lunch to make it up to you."
This is what happens when you are a People Pleaser, you buy your bullies lunch.
In the above scenario a self empowered version of Stacy might have responded like this, "Jenny, i had a good time at the bar last night. It's not my responsibility to pay for your taxi and we will not befriends at the end of the day if you don't apologize for what you just said." A self empowered version of Stacy might just laugh and walk away, but she certainly wouldn't be saying sorry to someone who was insulting her, using her and crossing boundaries. Notice, Stacy stood up for herself without using profanity or being nasty. She simply used assertive and direct speech.
Follow me on Medium · Listen, if you are sick of w ...
In this life we are all doing our best to get ahea ...
You have no groups that fit your search