Dean Owen

7年前 · 1分钟。 阅读时间 · ~10 ·

博客
>
Dean的博客
>
Two Lost Letters but no Love Lost

Two Lost Letters but no Love Lost

73e4a23a.jpg

I have not been dreading this day. 

I actually had no idea this day would come. 

It started off much like yesterday. The “trouble and strife” was away for a couple of days on assignment in Wuxi so it fell to me to be up at the break of dawn and making pancakes for little Ashley. I snuck some chocolate chips into my batter, poured three perfect circles in the pan, and revved up the Nespresso machine.

She scoffed down half a pancake as I prep’d her rucksack for school. And then it happened.


“Dad, can I have a yogurt?”


That single sentence killed me. I wasn’t angry that she didn’t like my pancakes. Nor that she didn’t say please. 

No, this was serious. 

She called me “Dad”.

I was no longer “Daddy”. 

All of a sudden she decided to drop two letters and call me "Dad". I mean, what the heck? She’s only four! This ain’t no democracy. Well at least until she’s eighteen. We live in Communist China for heaven’s sake. I am the Premier in my household. What I say, goes, or you’ll end up shoving coal in Inner Mongolia young lady!


“You call me Daddy” I quipped in a huff.

“No, you are Dad! And where is my yogurt?”

And that was it. All of a sudden, my name had changed.


I have no idea where this came from. Well perhaps I do. It’s those damn cartoons. Think about it. It’s always Dad in the cartoons, never Daddy. I’m kinda glad we are not living in France or I could have woken up to “Papa” this morning. I thought back. Way back. Must have been nine or ten when I started calling my father Dad, but that was when he was not around. I mean it’s embarrassing to speak to your friends about your Daddy. So Dad he became. It could have been "father". I’d always thought the word “father” a little Downton Abbeyish. It works well on paper, but spoken with a British accent. Nah.

So I had no choice but to accept my fate. Could have been worse I suppose. My mother insisted we all call her by her first name for frikkin’ sake.


Incidentally I worked many a 15-hour day, from stocking supermarket shelves in the early days to slaving away in front of trading terminals. I just did 2 days worth of single parenting. 


Single parents out there…. 


Respect!




"
#Love #Wuxi #Lost Letters #Dad #Letters
评论

Sarah Elkins

7年前 #36

#43
Don't correct her, Dean Owen. She'll figure it out soon enough. The only time I corrected our boys for things like that was when I knew they'd be embarrassed in front of their peers if I didn't. Just enjoy it for now, you know it will go away soon!

Dean Owen

7年前 #35

#42
is it not compulsory in kindergarten? It is here in China, and was in Singapore and Japan too. I guess when English is the native language, the people that be think another language is not necessary. I also did French (and Latin), but it is quite difficult to learn in your teens if your only exposure is a one hour class, 5 days a week. Very easy if someone plonks you in the foreign country.

Dean Owen

7年前 #34

#41
pasgetti! Now that is funny. My girl calls this thing I am typing on an ipapad! I don't want to correct her!

Lisa Gallagher

7年前 #33

#40
It's amazing how fast children pick up a second language Dean Owen, that's why I've always been a proponent of kids being taught a second Language in America from Kindergarten or 1st grade on up. I learned French (remember very little) in HS and it was hard. I took Spanish in College and I was unable to learn transitions with verbs and adjectives. The class was only 1 night a week and sort of like a speed class. I had to drop out. Most of the adults in that class were either refreshing what they already knew or did Business in Mexico and Spain.

Sarah Elkins

7年前 #32

I remember so many of those moments -- those bittersweet moments -- when our boys turned a corner from little to big. From pasgetti to spaghetti, from mommy to mom. Our older son will be 18 tomorrow and I cannot believe it. He's big now, like a man, but I still see that sweet boy with the big brown eyes and dimple. It does fly by, and I'm so grateful for every memory. Nice reminder, Dean Owen.

Dean Owen

7年前 #31

#39
Thanks Lisa. Enjoying every moment, especially now we can actually hold conversations and at 4, she is completely bilingual. Amazing I have been in China 9 years now, and can't speak the language, but at 4 she is fluent...

Lisa Gallagher

7年前 #30

Dean Owen, how did I miss this wonderful story?! First let me state for the record, Ashley is a doll!! You had me guessing for a second as to why the tone changed after Ashley asked for yogurt. Awe, I bet your right, it was the cartoons!! It makes you feel as though she's growing up too fast when she goes from calling you daddy to dad. I bet the phase will pass. Maybe just keep asking her, "Don't you mean daddy?" If she say's no, let it go and try again unless it becomes a non-issue for you. I remember calling my dad, daddy until he died. I was 11 and still calling him that. I'm sure I referred to him as dad to my friends by that age. It's so hard to watch our kids grow. I still call my grown children my kids. By the way, I had a friend who always called her mom by her first name. I asked her why? She said, "Because I decided I don't like to call her mom." Her mom was (and still is) the most awesome woman. Well she calls her mom now. I'm so glad, because "Louise" sure earned her title, mom.

Dean Owen

7年前 #29

#37
I am surprised to learn that Appa is also the word for father in Korea, Hungary and Tibet!

Dean Owen

7年前 #28

#34
Because that title really needs to be earned I've added a short (15 sec) video that I took last week to the buzz :) Thanks Fatima!

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

7年前 #27

#30
Dean Owen Thanks for the Kind comment ( First need to get married LOL) . I don't celebrate Diwali but looking forward to Christmas just a month and a half left. BTW you are one amazing DAD Oops sorry One amazing Daddy and we can all see that.#rockstardaddy

Dean Owen

7年前 #26

#28
I am petrified Ken-san, of actually losing her in a shopping mall or wherever as it was pointed out to me that if you lose a child in China, China being so huge, you'd probably never see her again. Need to Find your Child app!

Dean Owen

7年前 #25

#26
I'm way ahead of you there with three girls, the eldest of which is dating her college heartthrob, the captain of the American Football team.

Dean Owen

7年前 #24

#25
Thanks. I used to fear fatherhood but there is nothing like it.

Dean Owen

7年前 #23

#24
I have no doubt you'll be a beautiful caring mom when the time comes Fatima Williams. Thanks for stopping by. Wish you a Happy Diwali if you celebrate it.

Dean Owen

7年前 #22

#20
do you like your knees lol 😬. That was an IRA tactic if I recall rightly. I remember delivering a girl back to her parents in the morning after swatting for exams the whole night. Her boisterous father was standing by the road waiting. As soon as I turned up in my Renault 5 he came storming toward us, fist in the air. Naturally I chickened out and drove off...I was a wimpy teen.

Ken Boddie

7年前 #21

One other thing I've found, Dean-san. When you have a boy-child, you only have one boy in the neighbourhood to worry about. But when you have a girl-child, you have ALL the boys in the neighbourhood to worry about!!!!!!!!! 😰

Paul Walters

7年前 #20

Dean Owen After two girls doing exactly the same thing I can sympathise ...It kinda hurts. However I can assure you that during teenage years when something is desired ( a night out during school week or something expensive) the moniker "daddy' will be re employed and I tell you what, it works every time .

Mohammed Abdul Jawad

7年前 #19

Aha...Dean Owen Love, from the children, can felt in diverse ways, with their novel utterances, cute looks and dulcet pestering! Enjoy fatherhood with love and patience. :)

🐝 Fatima G. Williams

7年前 #18

LOL Dean Owen You had me laughing all the way ! I can't wait to be a parent now, seeing the bond you have with you baby girl :) She is too cute and smart Calls you DAD uh nice ! Thanks for sharing this lovely moment with us can't wait to hear more about her :)

Gert Scholtz

7年前 #17

Dean Owen I have looked after our two children many times when my wife was away and to singe parents I can only echo: Great Respect! The first commanding "Dad" becomes a call with many intonations - can I have something, why did you say this, endearment, where are you - many more. The photo is so poignant - makes one long for the days when it was "Daddy" . Great post - thanks Dean.

Pascal Derrien

7年前 #16

Perfect read for the week end :-)

Pascal Derrien

7年前 #15

I would have been concerned if she had said ''Dad can I have A yogurty''..... I agree with the 18 threshold, as far as my daughter is concerned her brother and I are perfecting interview techniques for potential boyfriends first question being do you like your knees.... nice light hearted take on time going by...Nice one Dean Owen

Dean Owen

7年前 #14

#17
Scottish heritage? What, do they call you Braveheart or Ken the Bruce?

Dean Owen

7年前 #13

#17
Probably easy to create a synthetic durian flavoured yogurt taste, but synthesising the smell is a challenge. I actually had a durian egg tart an hour ago, was quite yummy.

Ken Boddie

7年前 #12

#16
you forget my Scots heritage, Dean. As for the durian flavour, if 'they' can spoil ice cream I'm sure 'they' can spoil yoghurt. I'll set my wife to the task. Sensory glands like a bloodhound. If she can't find it it doesn't exist.

Dean Owen

7年前 #11

#9
So what do they call you now Ken-san? I was wondering as I wrote what the natural progression was. Reading this thread it appears it is Daddy to Dad to ATM.

Dean Owen

7年前 #10

#8
I think I had every right to give her durian yogurt for the rest of the week (wonder if that is even a product!? Hmmm, my next venture?)

Dean Owen

7年前 #9

#7
Ouch! Hopefully I'll be able to turn things around and call her my ATM. She made her TV debut at age one

Dean Owen

7年前 #8

#6
You have to teach me the trick Vincent Andrew. She is adamant that I am dad and not daddy. Not only that, she changes her own name every year. When she was one, she was Ashley, two, Chibi Maruko, three she insisted on being called teacher, and four Lovey. She has already chosen her name for next year - Fifi. Pa appears to be quite popular in SE Asia. Thanks for stopping by.

Dean Owen

7年前 #7

#5
Enjoying and savouring every minute of it Irene, but I feel for all the single parents out there emptying and washing baby toilets many times a day.... I mean I do have an Ayi (maid), but I feel it is not her job to do toilet duty..... But you, 13 years of it .... I bow in respect.

Dean Owen

7年前 #6

#2
Thanks Laurent. I'm thinking kids grow up faster these days as they are bombarded with input whereas in the past they had their family, friends, radio and books.

Dean Owen

7年前 #5

#1
Yes, if she called me father at four years old, I might have had a heart attack. I mean, what's wrong with Daddy? I wonder if I should enforce martial law....

Ken Boddie

7年前 #4

I can't remember when my kids stopped calling me daddy but I remember me wife used to refer to me as daddy well into their teens, as in "ask your daddy" or "see what your daddy says" This caused them both to squirm, particularly on front of their peers. One thing's for sure, you can't stop them growing up and young ladies become madams so quickly. Just hang on for the ride!

Ken Boddie

7年前 #3

But the burning issue left unresolved, Daddy-San, is did she or did she not get her yogurt?

Kevin Pashuk

7年前 #2

Wait till she introduces you as her ATM... or the one who pays for the wedding. Enjoy her at each stage, even if she drops the 'DY'...

Laurent Boscherini

7年前 #1

Thank you Dean Owen for sharing your beautiful and tremendous post. Kiddo learns fast and reminds us, how wonderfully they are carefree and how fast life uses to pass for us, to share them that.

来自Dean Owen的文章

查看博客
6年前 · 2分钟。 阅读时间

Killing Abel – A Simple Case of Fratricide

I don’t have much time. · I will not hide. · This is hard for me to write, but it may well be my l ...

7年前 · 5分钟。 阅读时间

Lyon Brave Unplugged

There has been a steady flow of talent migrating to beBee over the last couple of years, but in the ...

7年前 · 2分钟。 阅读时间

Macaque Mischief

Naff surfer shorts and flip flops may be the order of the day, but pack away your Rayban’s, lose the ...

相关专业人员

你可能对这些工作感兴趣

  • Tencent

    创新大世界soc项目 ue-高级引擎图形开发工程师

    发现在: Talent CN S2 - 4天前

    Tencent Shenzhen, 中国

    创新大世界SOC项目 UE-高级引擎图形开发工程师 深圳 分享 分享岗位 · 方式1:复制岗位链接 · 方式2:分享岗位海报 · 手机扫描二维码分享 · 收藏 IEG 点击了解更多BG信息 技术 五年以上工作经验 更新于年04月06日 岗位职责 1.负责游戏客户端引擎研发与维护,针对需求和游戏特性定制Unreal引擎底层功能;2.负责游戏中图形相关特性的开发,根据需求开发高级渲染效果,提高游戏表现品质;3.协助美术、策划建立高效的游戏内容制作规范和流程, 完善并持续优化工具链;4.优化游戏性能和内存,分析、定位、解决手游的疑难问题。 · 岗 ...

  • Evonik

    APN Environmental Manager

    发现在: Talent CN S2 - 1天前

    Evonik Minhang, 中国 全职

    What we offer · You will work on exciting and challenging topics together with a team in an ultra-modern, innovative and creative environment. Intensive on-the-job training with expert colleagues guarantees you will quickly become familiar with your duties and perform them indep ...

  • Aptiv

    Warehouse operator

    发现在: Talent CN S2 - 4天前

    Aptiv Yancheng, 中国 全职

    服从领导,遵守各项规章制度 · 负责仓库日常管理工作 · 根据实际工作状况,积极提出经营和管理的合理化建议 · 按仓库规定收发料 · 物料进仓入库,仓位的筹划与正确的摆放 · 仓库的安全工作和物料保管防护工作 · 作业单据的正确开制、确认与交接 · 每日物料明细账目的登记 · 盘点工作的具体安排执行与监督 · ...