Lyon Brave

4 years ago · 2 min. reading time · visibility ~100 ·

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SEX IS WHEN A SNAKE CRAWLS INTO A BUSH

SEX IS WHEN A SNAKE CRAWLS INTO A BUSHOne summer i walked outside to find my dogs stuck together. I am not sure how old I was, but I walked back in the house to tell my Father the dogs were stuck together. He looked at me wide eyed, because he knew they were fucking. Now I am not sure why our dogs got stuck together. Maybe it was a matter of Shadow being too big for Barbara, but Shadow's pork was stuck like he dipped it in super glue before dipping.

The next way i learned about sex indirectly was watching my dog Shadow get neutered. This is were they cut the dogs balls off to try and get the dog to stop humping everyone's legs basically. I didn't know it was a sex thing when they used the word neutered. I didn't know Shadows balls got chopped off. All i remembered was thinking my dog was going to die because when he came back from the vet he kept throwing up and had to wear a diaper. The dog was fucking miserable. 

Finally, my dad had the sex talk with me when I was about ten. He said you know what a bush is. I said yes. He said do you know what a snake is. I said yes. My father said sex is when a snake crawls into a bush and he left it at that. I still had no clue what sex was when we finished our sex talk because i literally thought sex meant a real live snake crawled under a bush. My mother never bothered trying to explain sex to me or the use of a condom. When I had a couple of weeks of Sex ED, they separated the boys and the girls and taught us the basic functions of the vagina, but didn't show us the diagram of the penis feeling it was inappropriate to teach us about sex in a Sex ED class. Needless to say, i didn't even know a dick was supposed to be hard before you tried to put it in the pussy and i'm sure a lot of people didn't. 

All I can say is I feel like most people are like me and they figure out fucking on their own, which isn't necessarily good. Some people figure it out through watching porn. I had a friend who messed up his sex life because he watched too much porn. He was always crying to me about his failed sexual conquest. This was back in college and he was going by the name Wolf-man. Wolfman fantasized these porn stars so much he couldn't keep an erection. He masturbated so much he hurt himself. And he was reporting to me weird things like smacking girls in the face with his dick. I know everyone has their own likes and dislikes, but i really don't think i'd ever like being smacked in the face with a dick i told my friend. Wolfman did stuff like this because he watched porn stars do it. 4e2ef4f4.jpg

I remember the boys in the dorm next to me always showing me weird porn, like TWO GIRLS ONE CUP. They watched porn in groups like it was football. I never liked porn. Porn always turned me off. 

I guess the worse way to learn about sex is through the lady who drives you to church. They always tell you the penis is the devil and will drag you and your vagina to hell. I wonder what my life would be like if people explained  sex appropriately, full, without stigma and shame attached to and demonetization. We should be comfortable with sex in 21st century, but it's still oddly taboo.


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