PSYCHOLOGY OF WORDS: I'M RUBBER, YOU'RE GLUE
Words are tremendously powerful, but it is our choice to give words there power or not. When someone give us a command, we can choose to obey, or disobey. We have been made to feel fear by others threats, shame by remarks about our worthiness and attractiveness, shunned by gossip and rumors. Words are hurtful and have the ability to start wars.
The “N” Word is possibly the most controversial and explosive word in history. We are asking for a riot if we use this in a group of African Americans. On the same note calling a woman a “bitch” or a “cunt” is practically begging to get smacked in the face. Ever since we were kids we knew the power of words and how they could crush us. We even came up with songs to protect us from their damage like, “Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never harm me” and “I'm rubber you're glue, your words bounce off me and stick to you.
When we are adults how come it seems we lose the wisdom we had as children on how to handle negativity? Let’s examine the wisdom behind “I’m rubber, you’re glue.” This riposte used when someone calls you a name, indicates that whatever names or words someone uses in an attempt to offend or insult you, those words will bounce off you, and stick to the name-caller, indicating that he or she is actually indicative of the connotation he or she originally wanted to impart upon you. There is so much wisdom in this riposte that it’s genius.
Psychologically speaking, usually when someone is insulting us- it stems from a place of insecurity. We can take comfort in knowing when someone is calling us a name, it’s because something is wrong with the individual not us. If someone is calling you arrogant or egocentric, good. If you read between the lines of their own insecurity, what they mean to say is you seem to have purpose and confidence and I wish I had that. Hatters will hate and they will hate on us.
Words are but a seed and our minds are the grounds for them to take root. We have to safe guard our minds and hearts and not let words of destruction bear fruit. In our realities, we have to leave it barren and only allow words of encouragement and strength to take root in our minds and realities. Every single person is going to face a naysayer who wants them to play it small and be a lesser version of themselves, but a naysayer is a minuscule and external factor we should never give our power to. Unfortunately, the majority of people give a naysayer ultimate power over the outcome of their life. It is so irrational to believe in doubt, that it is mind boggling the majority of us live our life this way and pick an existence based on the merits of disbelief in our own capabilities.
There is a reason our friends or relatives have murmured to us, “We are our own worst enemies,” because it’s true. No matter what negative experiences we have had, which have tainted our perceptions with unpleasantness, we have to admit to ourselves, nobody is trying to stop us from getting what we want out of life. Nobody is standing in our way. The only one stopping us from achieving our personal goals and ambitions is us. We stand in our own way. Life is indifferent towards us. It doesn’t have any personal stake in whether we fail or succeeded. Even when it seems like people are out to get us, rest assured they can’t stop us even if they try. They can possibly set us back, throw us off our game, try to persuade us to doubt ourselves, but we can get back on track simply by disentangle our lives from these people. We don’t have to be around people who plant the seed of doubt deep in our subconscious minds.
The best advice I can give you is from Abraham Hicks. She says, the best way to stop doubt is before it happens. This means after a job interview don’t sit there and worry you won’t get a call back. Instead try to visualize yourself happy in your new office position, or don’t think about work at all, think about something that makes you happy like the idea of true love. Instead of thinking the world is a cruel place full of problems, try see it as a place of beauty with a few kinks to work out. Our thoughts create our realities, if we think negatively about a situation we are going to create a negative out-come.
If we think we don’t have the ability to get what we want out of life, why would we even try and this is a thought of limitation, which is a thought of doubt. If a negative thought enters our minds, we need to push out the thought as fast as possible and try to focus on something positive. This is called mindful thinking, or conscious thinking. The more we can control our thoughts, which is where the real battle ground of life takes place because it dictates how we think and feel about ourselves and the world at large. If we think positive, we are more likely to attract positive experiences into our lives. They say bad things come in three, and they usually do because that is our expectation. If we decided to expect good to happen, good will happen. Life is what we make of it, nothing more, and nothing less.
Excerpt from Self-Help book Transforming the Victim by Lyon Brave
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