How to Surrender Your Pain by Lyon Brave

Some people say, control is rooted in fear. I guess it depends on what you are trying to control. Trying to control the religious and sexual preferences of others is certainly a fear based thing to do. We cannot control the habits of other people. Honestly, if it's not hurting us, it's none of our business how much someone drinks, jerks off, or goes to church. 

Honestly, if we would stop worrying about the mistakes other people make, or why so and so is this way, we would be a lot less exhausted and annoyed by others. People literally hold elaborate debates in bars about the lack of motivation of other people and how they can't comprehend how someone could be so unmotivated. The bigger questions is why is anyone worried about a strangers career choice, especially if the stranger is content with their choice?

A lot of what causes us pain is trying to control other people. Not only do we try to control their actions, but we literally get worked up if we can't control how people feel about certain things. We cannot control other people and we will never be able to control their minds and hearts. Attempting to control other people can only bring us pain, because we can only fail at it.

However, trying to control how the universe perceives you and what you do for a living certainly makes sense.  Trying to control your own thoughts and actions makes sense. Whether you go for a jog or not in the morning is in your control. A lot of your physical appearance is in your control, though we cannot all be super models. 

Because we are meant to be co-creators with god or the universe, desiring control is not a bad thing. Control is power. Control is influence. Being a control freak is our divine birth right as human beings with the ability to exercise our free will.

With that being said, there are many things about this world and our experience on earth that is out of our control. We cannot control if we are born male or female. We cannot control our race, our parental influence, or what country we grow-up in. We cannot even control how people treat us and who gives us the time of day. Life is luck. Life is chance. 

Honestly, a lot about our lives is out of our control. It's hard not to believe in destiny, when you realize how little you actually choose for yourself. With that being said, I want to mention Buddhism. Buddhist often talk of surrendering.  Buddhist believe the energy of surrender accomplishes much more than the energy of control.

Surrendering is how to stop suffering. You see we suffer because we desire things and when we don't get out desires it brings us great pain. Having a crush can be painful. We call it unrequited love when someone doesn't desire us back. This can traumatize many of us. This feeling of romantic rejection, but that is because we are not looking at the big picture. In the big picture, not sleeping with a girl or guy doesn't matter. Who we are is all that matters. 

What's cool about learning about surrendering your desires, is you can stop being in pain instantly. When a crush hurts you, consider this: Would letting go feel like freedom?

When wanting a certain career that doesn't seem to be happening,  consider this: Would letting go feel like freedom?

Christians will tell you to surrender to god. I will tell you to surrender to your own life. Surrendering is not a passive state. It should not be confused with giving up. Surrendering simply means to go with the flow and follow the path that is most natural for you. Sometimes our paths are filled with adversity even if we are supposed to walk them, but sometimes our journeys became impossible to walk because we are not meant to walk them. It's okay to give up your dream, to get your life back. 

In the same sense, if you are meant to move on from something being stagnant can start to hurt you. It's okay to not fight life, or yourself and to give up your pain. You can just let things go. Things you have held on to for years. This is how you find freedom. You move on from what is not yours, from what is over and done, from what is not working. You move forward.