Lyon Brave

3 years ago · 1 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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FUCKING SOCIAL MEDIA STOLE MY LIFE!

FUCKING SOCIAL MEDIA STOLE MY LIFE!FUCK SOCIAL MEDIA,
I'M DOPE IN REAL LIFE.

 

~Loki


YOUR LIFE HAS NO VALUE WITHOUT SOCIAL MEDIA. SORRY, THE NEW RULES ARE IF YOU DIDN'T FILM IT, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE IN MARKETING YOU BETTER GET HIP TO THE RULES. EVEN NOW I AM JUST TYPING EXTRA SHIT BECAUSE BEBEE HAS A CERTAIN WORD LIMIT FOR YOU TO HIT. 

SOCIAL MEDIA IS THIS DAUNTING PIN IN MY ASS DRIVING ME TO MADNESS. IT'S NOT JUST ONE PIN, IT'S A TWITTER PIN AND A FACEBOOK PIN AND A BEBEE PIN AND AN INSTAGRAM PIN AND A LIKE BUTTON AND A PININTEREST GRENADE THAT SOMEONE PUT IN MY ASS. GETTING THAT MANY LIKES AND THAT MANY SUBSCRIBERS SEEMS MORE IMPOSSIBLE THAN GOING TO CHINA, BECAUSE I DID THAT. IT SEEMS MORE IMPOSSIBLE THAN GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE BECAUSE EVERYONE DOES THAT. IT SEEMS MORE IMPOSSIBLE THAN GETTING A SONG ON THE RADIO BECAUSE I DID THAT. GETTING A 20K VIEWS ON YOUTUBE SEEMS HOPLESS, LIKE A LOST CAUSE. IT IS MORE LIKELY I WILL GET DISAPPEAR IN THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE. 

HOW COME TWEETING FEELS LIKE STICKING MY FINGERS IN A BLENDER?

I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT WHEN THEY TWEET ME. I LIKE PHOTOS I DON'T EVEN LIKE BECAUSE I AM TOLD TO ENGAGE. I COMMENT ON THINGS I AM NOT INTERESTED IN BECAUSE I AM TOLD TO ENGAGE.THERE HAS TO BE A BETTER WAY TO DO THIS. I NEED TO HIRE SOMEONE I THINK.

I AM PISSED OFF AT SOCIAL MEDIA BECAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW IT GOT SO GOD DAMN IMPORTANT AND I AM NOT REALLY GOOD AT BECAUSE I AM SORT OF SERIOUS MINDED. LET'S BE REAL SOCIAL MEDIA IS WIDELY KNOWN FOR CAT VIDEOS. SO IF I AM NOT A CAT ENTHUSIAST OR GUSHING OVER MEDIOCRE KID SINGERS THEN I AM AT A HUGE DISADVANTAGE IN SOCIAL MEDIA CULTURE.

NOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG, THERE IS A LOT TO LOVE ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, LIKE INSTANT CONNECTION, SHARING COOL SHIT AND STORIES, CAT VIDEOS AND JUST KNOWING YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD, BUT HOW DO YOU BREAK INTO A MARKET HEAVILY SATURATED WHEN YOU ARE STARTING LATE IN THE GAME. SOME OF THE BIGGEST YOUTUBERS HAVE LITERALLY BEEN MAKING VIDEOS FOR 5-10 YEARS. I HAVE 6 SUBSCRIBERS AND IT'S SAD. I THINK IN MODERN TIMES PEOPLE ARE MORE IMPRESSED BY HOW MANY FOLLOWERS YOU HAVE THAN WHERE YOU GRADUATED AND MAYBE THEY SHOULD BE, BECAUSE SOCIAL MEDIA IS CHALLENGING. 

NORMAL I WOULDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, BUT I WROTE THIS BOOK YOU SEE, CALLED TRANSFORMING THE VICTIM AND THEY REFUSE TO PUBLISH IT TILL I BUILD A BIGGER PLATFORM.  I EVEN LOSE OUT ON JOBS BECAUSE MY SOCIAL MEDIA PRESENCE IS WEAK. 


FACT: AN EDITOR SAID WE THINK YOUR BOOK IS RATHER GOOD AND WOULD LIKE TO PUBLISH IT. HOWEVER, WE CANNOT PUBLISH IT UNTIL YOU BUILD A STRONG PLATFORM. PLEASE CONSIDER US ONCE THIS IS DONE.

RIGHT, BECAUSE I CAN JUST BE INSTAGRAM FAMOUS AFTER I BRUSH MY TEETH.

FACT: AN APP DEVELOPER SAID WE LIKE YOUR CREATIVITY AND WOULD LIKE YOU TO MARKET FOR US ON YOUR CHANNEL. (THEY MET ME IN PERSON AND MADE THE MISTAKE OF THINKING MY LIGHT IN LIFE MEANT I HAD A MILLION SUBSCRIBERS ON YOUTUBE. I DON'T, SO NO DEAL ANYMORE)

SO WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??? YOU MEAN YOU LIKE ME, THINK I AM TALENTED, THINK I AM SMART, BUT WON'T HIRE ME BECAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE SWEET SPOT OF FACEBOOK. FUCK I NEVER THOUGHT THIS SHIT WOULD BE SO DAMN IMPORTANT AND RELEVANT IN MY LIFE.

IN SCHOOL NOBODY SAID LYON, LET ME TEACH YOU THE IMPORTANCE OF TWITTER AND HOW TO BUILD YOUR FOLLOWING ON INSTAGRAM


YOU MEAN MERIT HAS NO MERIT IF I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING YOUTUBE CHANNEL. THE GOOD OLD DAYS ARE OVER. YOU CAN KNOW LONGER JUST BE BRILLIANT OR TALENTED OR EVEN GOOD LOOKING. WE ARE IN THE ERA OF YOU HAVE TO BE FACEBOOK FAMOUS TO BE BRILLIANT. 

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MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL IS A FUCKING DISASTER AND I NEED A MAC BOOK AND SCRIPTED CONTENT AND PEOPLE TO WORK WITH AND LIKE SOME SORT OF STUDIO SETUP SO I CAN MAKE REAL VIDEOS INSTEAD OF THIS MESSY ASS SLOP I HAVE BEEN PRODUCING AND I KNOW THIS, BUT I FIGURED POSTING ANY CONTENT WAS BETTER THAN NOTHING TO HELP GROW MY CHANNEL, BUT THAT MIGHT NOT BE TRUE. 



P.S. LEAVE TIPS, SUGGESTIONS, ADVICE, AND HELP ME OUT ON YOUTUBE BY SUBSCRIBING. I PROMISE THE CONTENT WILL IMPROVE.

BLAH

BLAH

BLAH

OMG HOW HAVE I NOT HIT THE WORD COUNT YET

LET ME FIND A QUOTE THEN

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P..S. SORRY ABOUT CURSING 

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