FUCKING SOCIAL MEDIA STOLE MY LIFE!

YOUR LIFE HAS NO VALUE WITHOUT SOCIAL MEDIA. SORRY, THE NEW RULES ARE IF YOU DIDN'T FILM IT, IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. IF YOU WANT TO SURVIVE IN MARKETING YOU BETTER GET HIP TO THE RULES. EVEN NOW I AM JUST TYPING EXTRA SHIT BECAUSE BEBEE HAS A CERTAIN WORD LIMIT FOR YOU TO HIT. 

SOCIAL MEDIA IS THIS DAUNTING PIN IN MY ASS DRIVING ME TO MADNESS. IT'S NOT JUST ONE PIN, IT'S A TWITTER PIN AND A FACEBOOK PIN AND A BEBEE PIN AND AN INSTAGRAM PIN AND A LIKE BUTTON AND A PININTEREST GRENADE THAT SOMEONE PUT IN MY ASS. GETTING THAT MANY LIKES AND THAT MANY SUBSCRIBERS SEEMS MORE IMPOSSIBLE THAN GOING TO CHINA, BECAUSE I DID THAT. IT SEEMS MORE IMPOSSIBLE THAN GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE BECAUSE EVERYONE DOES THAT. IT SEEMS MORE IMPOSSIBLE THAN GETTING A SONG ON THE RADIO BECAUSE I DID THAT. GETTING A 20K VIEWS ON YOUTUBE SEEMS HOPLESS, LIKE A LOST CAUSE. IT IS MORE LIKELY I WILL GET DISAPPEAR IN THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE. 

HOW COME TWEETING FEELS LIKE STICKING MY FINGERS IN A BLENDER?

I AM PISSED OFF AT SOCIAL MEDIA BECAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW IT GOT SO GOD DAMN IMPORTANT AND I AM NOT REALLY GOOD AT BECAUSE I AM SORT OF SERIOUS MINDED. LET'S BE REAL SOCIAL MEDIA IS WIDELY KNOWN FOR CAT VIDEOS. SO IF I AM NOT A CAT ENTHUSIAST OR GUSHING OVER MEDIOCRE KID SINGERS THEN I AM AT A HUGE DISADVANTAGE IN SOCIAL MEDIA CULTURE.

NOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG, THERE IS A LOT TO LOVE ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, LIKE INSTANT CONNECTION, SHARING COOL SHIT AND STORIES, CAT VIDEOS AND JUST KNOWING YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD, BUT HOW DO YOU BREAK INTO A MARKET HEAVILY SATURATED WHEN YOU ARE STARTING LATE IN THE GAME. SOME OF THE BIGGEST YOUTUBERS HAVE LITERALLY BEEN MAKING VIDEOS FOR 5-10 YEARS. I HAVE 6 SUBSCRIBERS AND IT'S SAD. I THINK IN MODERN TIMES PEOPLE ARE MORE IMPRESSED BY HOW MANY FOLLOWERS YOU HAVE THAN WHERE YOU GRADUATED AND MAYBE THEY SHOULD BE, BECAUSE SOCIAL MEDIA IS CHALLENGING. 

NORMAL I WOULDN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA, BUT I WROTE THIS BOOK YOU SEE, CALLED TRANSFORMING THE VICTIM AND THEY REFUSE TO PUBLISH IT TILL I BUILD A BIGGER PLATFORM.  I EVEN LOSE OUT ON JOBS BECAUSE MY SOCIAL MEDIA PRESENCE IS WEAK. 

FACT: AN EDITOR SAID WE THINK YOUR BOOK IS RATHER GOOD AND WOULD LIKE TO PUBLISH IT. HOWEVER, WE CANNOT PUBLISH IT UNTIL YOU BUILD A STRONG PLATFORM. PLEASE CONSIDER US ONCE THIS IS DONE.

RIGHT, BECAUSE I CAN JUST BE INSTAGRAM FAMOUS AFTER I BRUSH MY TEETH.

FACT: AN APP DEVELOPER SAID WE LIKE YOUR CREATIVITY AND WOULD LIKE YOU TO MARKET FOR US ON YOUR CHANNEL. (THEY MET ME IN PERSON AND MADE THE MISTAKE OF THINKING MY LIGHT IN LIFE MEANT I HAD A MILLION SUBSCRIBERS ON YOUTUBE. I DON'T, SO NO DEAL ANYMORE)

SO WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO??? YOU MEAN YOU LIKE ME, THINK I AM TALENTED, THINK I AM SMART, BUT WON'T HIRE ME BECAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE SWEET SPOT OF FACEBOOK. FUCK I NEVER THOUGHT THIS SHIT WOULD BE SO DAMN IMPORTANT AND RELEVANT IN MY LIFE.

IN SCHOOL NOBODY SAID LYON, LET ME TEACH YOU THE IMPORTANCE OF TWITTER AND HOW TO BUILD YOUR FOLLOWING ON INSTAGRAM

YOU MEAN MERIT HAS NO MERIT IF I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING YOUTUBE CHANNEL. THE GOOD OLD DAYS ARE OVER. YOU CAN KNOW LONGER JUST BE BRILLIANT OR TALENTED OR EVEN GOOD LOOKING. WE ARE IN THE ERA OF YOU HAVE TO BE FACEBOOK FAMOUS TO BE BRILLIANT. 

MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL IS A FUCKING DISASTER AND I NEED A MAC BOOK AND SCRIPTED CONTENT AND PEOPLE TO WORK WITH AND LIKE SOME SORT OF STUDIO SETUP SO I CAN MAKE REAL VIDEOS INSTEAD OF THIS MESSY ASS SLOP I HAVE BEEN PRODUCING AND I KNOW THIS, BUT I FIGURED POSTING ANY CONTENT WAS BETTER THAN NOTHING TO HELP GROW MY CHANNEL, BUT THAT MIGHT NOT BE TRUE. 

P.S. LEAVE TIPS, SUGGESTIONS, ADVICE, AND HELP ME OUT ON YOUTUBE BY SUBSCRIBING. I PROMISE THE CONTENT WILL IMPROVE.

BLAH

BLAH

BLAH

OMG HOW HAVE I NOT HIT THE WORD COUNT YET

LET ME FIND A QUOTE THEN

“The most successful marketer becomes part of the lives of their followers. They follow back. They wish happy birthday. They handle problems their customers have with products or service. They grow their businesses and brands by involving themselves in their own communities.”
Marsha Collier, speaker and business author

“You as a brand have to be completely confident about your position, because you will get criticism. You will have a negative reaction. If you didn’t get a negative reaction, that means you’re standing neutral and you have no point of view. Who wants to participate in that?”
Frank Cooper, Pepsico

“Conversations among the members of your marketplace happen whether you like it or not. Good marketing encourages the right sort of conversations.”
Seth Godin, Seth’s Blog

“How can you squander even one more day not taking advantage of the greatest shifts of our generation? How dare you settle for less when the world has made it so easy for you to be remarkable?”
Seth Godin, sethgodin.com

“Social Media is about the people! Not about your business. Provide for the people and the people will provide for you.”
Matt Goulart

“New marketing is about the relationships, not the medium.”
Ben Grossman, founder of BiGMarK

“The value of being connected and transparent is so high that the roadbumps of privacy issues are much lower in actual experience than people’s fears.”
Reid Hoffman, founder and executive chairman of LinkedIn

“Today people don’t trust companies. One of the things marketers want to do is to humanize their brand. What better way to do it than put a live person in front of them?”
Jackie Huba, author