Lyon Brave

4 years ago · 3 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

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BREAKING NEWS: VAGINA GIRL IS RANTING ABOUT MEN FINANCES AND FRIENDS


BREAKING NEWS: VAGINA GIRL IS RANTING ABOUT MEN FINANCES AND FRIENDS
 A lot is going on with me I just had a birthday :(  I have no kids. This makes me feel behind in some ways. Especially when people have existential conversations and they are like"we're all really here to fuck." and i'm sitting there thinking, "i really think I'm meant to have superpowers'. Then someone says, "Yeah let's fucking make babies," and i'm thinking i don't know if my superpowered vagina is a good fit for mere mortals, so i'd rather not fuck. Then some kind of good looking guy with a beard jumps in the pool and i'd still rather not fuck because I don't want to have a fucking hipster's baby because then my baby will come out looking like Hitler with a little handlebar mustache and i can't afford German lessons or to have a racist son. Thos little Hitler bab552effa0.jpgies are fucking dangerous.

FAST FORWARD TO THE NEXT PART OF THIS BUZZzzz.....z

CATCH SOME AIR: Breathe

YOU MADE IT TO THE NEXT MOUTHFUL

.

Am I Too Poor to Have Sex With Men

OVER THINKING THINGS

FUCK

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Most of the people I know have kids and are married. Most of my friends from college are in other states or countries. In many ways, I have no friends. At least not friends that I have convenient access to and you need a handful of convenient friends in your life for a variety of reasons besides grabbing lunch or acting as your therapist or hopefully an ATM machine. Having friends is important to your entire life. What if you want to have fun or need help moving a couch or want to throw a party. Having friends is a necessity and many of us don't have real life friends. We neglect the friend area of our life which makes no sense and we focus on bullshit like Bob Ross. I get Bob Ross is cool, but there is no way you should be watching Bob Ross paint for 2 hours a day and if you are you are you are probably neglecting something, like you father or that fern out front.2a777aa4.jpg

If I had kids right now, my finances are not good enough to buy them everything for them to reach their full potential and I don't know if I want to raise them with a man or a woman or alone as a billionaire. Raising them alone as a billionaire is probably my best bet. So mamma needs to make some sugar because marriages are bullshit. 

If marriages are friendships and talking than women make sense. Women seem more loyal than men, but this is statistically only slightly true. In fact, men and women cheat almost the same.

Now If marriages are paying the bills and fucking than men make sense, even though this seems sexist because it's saying women don't make as much money as men, which is true. I think what matters is if you prefer less talk and more action or more talk and cuddle time.

 If children are like plants, you want to grow them in their ultimate environment and I don't have the right environment to offer them their full potential.  I don't even have the right environment to offer myself the ability to reach my full potential and I'm still confused about my sexuality. I should probably just marry a rich man like Javier 🐝 beBee . Relax, Javier is just a metaphor for the next guy i have sex with better own a jet, or basketball court, or a small fucking business at least. 


AN EXISTENTIAL LESBAIN CRISIS IN 3O SECONDS OR LESSd1dab571.jpg

If actions speak louder than words, I'm a total dyke because I  have been sexually pursuing women. However, if fear controls our actions, I might have to wonder, am I afraid of the dick. Am I just afraid of getting pregnant because even affording an abortion would be a financial struggle? Am I Too Poor to 
Have Sex With Men?

I'm getting to the stage in life where I don't believe in the struggle. The struggle is bull-shit man and I don't want to go dutch on dates and I certainly don't want to pay for a stranger's food and entertainment. It took me some time to realize it, but i'm the most important person on this date by a lot. You should be trying to impress me, because if you are boring, i'm going fall asleep for a little bit and wake up and pack my bags. You know on OkCupid, when you take their dating personality test, I got THE SUDDEN DEPARTUER. I'm like wind man.  I have wasted enough money on dates that I wanted to vanish from. I'm not spending another penny on a date. I'm fantastic, it's definitely your prvillege to buy my dinner and get an audition with me. 
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