Lyon Brave

4 years ago · 6 min. reading time · visibility ~100 ·

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We have a lot terminology that seems to put men and women at odds with each other. We have all heard the phrases, battle of the sexes, men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Women are cats and men are dogs. Though we certainly are still trying to understand each other, some of the best changes in history occur when men and women are working together and thinking of each other. This is the balancing point of life, yin combining with yang in thought and action. 

Ladies, before we make men the villains of our stories, which is all too easy to do because of the historical repression of women, we might want to consider all the great things men have done for us over time. Here is a list of the top ten inventions created by men for women. Yes, most of these inventions are sexual or sexist, but they still make life easier.


1.) Tampons:

It’s that time of the month. Imagine how much worse it would be if Maxi Pads and Tampons where never invented. We would be banned to a barn for a week until our flow was gone. The tampon might be the greatest invention made for women because it allows us to continue living as a productive human instead of a dying animal in the wilderness. Ironically, though purchasing tampons in front of your man embarrasses them, and any talk of Mother Nature makes them want to puke into a bag, the modern tampon was invented in 1929 by Doctor Earle Haas, who wanted to invent a tampon that could be effectively mass produced. I think I speak on the behalf of women everywhere, when I say thank you doctor Earle!8a57e2e0.jpg

2.) Vibrator

We all know that it takes women a lot longer to orgasm then men. Sometimes it seems like men and women are simply sexually incompatible, which explains homosexual relationships. Whether they became a lesbian or not, women everywhere were ecstatic about the invention of the vibrator because they could take control of their unsatisfying sex lives. Apparently, not getting off actually leads to female hysteria, so doctors masturbated the women to cure there mental illnesses. Because the doctors’ hands were getting tired and their wrists started to hurt, the “Manipulator", was invented by American physician George Taylor, M.D. in 1869. We are not making this up. So come on ladies, sleep with yourself, sleep with men, and sleep with women. All alternatives to sex are healthy, the only thing that is not healthy is not having any kind of sexual activity whatsoever. Being celibate will apparently make you crazy.aa7d646d.jpg

3.) Blue Jeans

Though dresses are adorable, sexy, elegant, and flirtatious, we women don’t always want to be in a dress. The number one reason is we don’t want our’ flowers ‘showing to the world when we decide to join in a soccer game, or climb a tree. We have all heard the expression who wears the pants in this relationship. Thanks to Jacob Davis and Levi Strauss, who invented blue jeans in 1873, everyone does as we move forward in a world that is increasing in equality for both genders. Hey Davis and Strauss, blue jeans are kind of sexy. Everyone’s butts look good in them too even men’s.

4.) Baby Stroller

Can you imagine how miserable life would be if you had to carry your baby with you every time you wanted to get out of the house? Ladies, thank William Kent for inventing the stroller, or not because all of us would be pretty fit if we had to physically carry our babies with us everywhere. Kent invented the stroller in 1733 at the request of Duke of Devonshire. Kent designed a shell-shaped, wheeled wicker basket with a harness so that it could be pulled along by a goat or pony. His design was not very popular and did not spread very far considering it was designed for the rich. Throughout the years other people modified the design for the poor, so mommy and daddy where the pony and this was a lot more practical and cached.17d45ef1.jpg

5.) Condoms

Most of us like sex, but the population seems to be pretty torn on screaming babies, and you definitely, don’t want to take on an eighteen year responsibility just because you did something that felt good for three minutes. The exact date the condom was invented is hard to track down. Historically, the use of them has been forbidden, so they seem to disappear and reappear throughout history. It looks like condoms got popular around the same time as syphilis. Though a lot of men worked on wily coverings, it looks like Charles Goodyear had the biggest influence in creating the modern condom in 1855, by experimenting with rubber vulcanization a process that made rubber more durable and flexible, which is how condoms got there nickname rubber.1ab5aada.jpg

6.) Plan B Pill

There is something about fornicating, which feels so good we cannot help but get caught up in the moment in spite the risk of herpes and babies. Condoms were invented to protect us from our wild and reckless sex lives. However, both men and women agree that using a condom is like shagging a plastic bag and sucks. Everyone would much rather go raw no matter how dangerous. Hint’s the invention of the Plan B Pill. It’s impossible to find the person who invented the Plan B Pill. This is probably due to the highly controversial nature of the invention and the fact that it is relatively new. The world could agree electricity was a good idea. They are still conflicted over the moral ramifications of the morning after pill, which was designed for survivors of sexual assault in the 1960s. Clinical trials of progestin-only pills started in 1980 and then it was approved in the UK in January 1984 and first marketed in October 1984. In the US, the pill was approved in 1998, and widely marketed a year later.

7.) Baby Formula

There are tons of benefits to breasts feeding over giving your baby formula. The benefits range from calmer nerves, higher IQ and stronger immunity. With that being said, who would want to use baby formula? Baby formula was a necessary invention for infants everywhere whose mothers had died in the delivery room, or simply abandoned them. Obviously, fathers and foster parents could not perform this action, and some mothers could not even if they wanted to. The same company that gave us chocolate milk gave us baby formula, and this invention has saved countless infant life. The origins of the Nestlé Company go all the way back to 1867, when Henri Nestlé created a nutritious product for infants that could be used by mothers who were unable to breast-feed.

8.) Microwave

As a woman we usually like to perform regular culinary miracles for our families. Still there are days when all you want to do is pop a Hot-Pocket in the Microwave and watch television instead of being in the kitchen for hours. The first Microwave was invented by Percy Spencer in 1945, and named the Radarange.  This first commercially produced microwave oven was about 6 feet tall and weighed around 750 pounds. Can you imagine having this monstrosity in your kitchen? The price tag on these units was about $5000 a piece.  It wasn’t until 1967 that the first microwave became a reasonably priced and sized counter-top model.a525cd10.png

9.) Dishwasher

Women are accustomed to doing the bulk of the housework, even in modern society. Is she your wife or is she your maid, is a common joke with a historical sting about the repression of women. Thankfully, the Dishwasher was invented to make the completion of household chores more manageable even without the husband helping around the house. In 1850, Joel Houghton patented a wooden machine with a hand-turned wheel that splashed water on dishes. The machine wasn’t really a workable machine, but he was technically the man who came up with the idea. However, in 1886, Josephine Cochran proclaimed in disgust "If nobody else is going to invent a dish-washing machine, I'll do it myself." And she did, Josephine Cochran invented the first practical dishwasher that actually cleaned dishes, proving it takes a woman to do a man’s job ;)

10.) Pepper Spray

Danger is sometimes a part of a young woman’s life depending on the environment she grows up in. In the ghetto it is not uncommon to be jumped because you are pretty. Unfortunately, more women are being sold into sex slavery then ever in the modern day. When I was in New York, I learned from local authorities it was a very common hustle to abduct young girls from Ohio, through Craigslist. They would promise the women they would make them into stars to get them to the city, and once the women were there they would sell them into prostitution. Most of these girls never see home again and end up dead and drugged out pretty quickly. Safety is a very real concern. Some men have no hesitation about taken the life away from young women to make quick cash. Though walking around with pepper spray doesn’t guarantee your safety, it is designed to give the user enough time to disable their opponent to get away. The use of pepper as a weapon goes all the way back to ancient China. The Chinese would put red chili pepper on rice paper as a weapon and swing it to the face of their opponents. The Japanese ninja were also known to use ground pepper against their enemies. Though we couldn’t track down the exact inventor of pepper spray, we know it’s a military invention and therefore likely invented by a man.

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Lyon Brave

Lyon Brave

4 years ago #2

because you're a naughty girl if you stick something up your vagina.

Dean Owen

Dean Owen

4 years ago #1

I would have thought the microwave was invented for men! And you've been in Asia a while now. Why aren't tampons popular here?

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